[four_fifth]
This one is Locker Room Humor:
Henchman 1: Dude, did you hear the joke that you don’t tell gay henchmen?
Henchman 2: no.
Henchman 1: Exactly.
[henchman 1 walks away calmly]
—
Henchmen walk into a new ‘hot’ joint, The Star Guild Café
[peers at menu]
Boba Feta Cheese – 5 Gold
Cup o’ Java The Hutt – 1 Gold
Ham Solo Sandwich – 3 Gold
Buffalo X-Wings, 12 each – 10 Gold
Pie-Fighter, 1 Slice – 4 Gold
Cream Yoda Float – 2 Gold
Steak Jar Jar – 7 Gold
Obi-Wan-Ton Soup – 3 Gold
Darth Malt Beverage – 2 Gold
Palpatine Milk, 12 oz., – 2 Gold
—
Try our specialty, the Force-Choke:
Equal parts rum, tequila, vodka, gin, carbonite sauce and giving in to your hatred.
Served chilled, Only 7 Gold!
—
Why Ascalonian Henchmen get early retirement packages:
Henchmen 3-6: [cheers]
Henchman 2: We were awesome!
Henchman 1: Damn right!
Henchman 7: I’m so going to get wasted tonight
Henchman 2: That’s what your mom said last night
Henchman 1: Dude, not cool, his mom died in the Searing.
Henchman 1-6: [long sigh]
Henchman 2: so…uhhh…yeah…vanquishing some cartographer skill guardian, right guys?!
Henchman 1-6: YEAH! [poof…disappears]
—
Necromancy and Tourette’s do not mesh well.
Crysania was blooding new recruits, when one seemed a bit peculiar…even for henchmen.
Crysania: Recruit 1, are you ok?
Recruit 1: BLOOD IS POWER! [33% health loss]
Crysania: ok. Glad you know an elite already, but save-
Recruit 1: BLOOD IS @#$% POWER [66% health loss]
Crysania: Truly, I appreciate it, but I hadn’t cast anything. Maybe if-
Recruit 1: BLOOD IS MOTHER-@#$%ING POWER! [99% health loss]
Crysania: I bet you can’t do that again, pussy.
Recruit 1 filled his lungs with air, in an uncontrollable fit of rage: BLOOD IS POWER!!!! [death]
Crysania: Another necro who casts himself dead. As if Olias wasn’t enough…
Recruit 3 resurrects recruit 1
Recruit 1: Blood is Power! [death #2]
Crysania: Ok, WTF.
Recruit 2: He can’t help it, he casts blood is power [the recruit rez’ed and died again] whenever he gets nervous.
[shouts and death #4]
Crysania Sighs. Maybe being force-choked a lot will break his habit. Or maybe it won’t, the guild will have a target dummy anyway.
[/four_fifth]
[one_fifth_last]
Story #6
19 Apr 2010
Notes: The Star Guild Cafe became the Hoolequin Cafe and Laundromat. | First appearance of Bip.
References: Star Wars
[/one_fifth_last]