(25) Order of The Party

[four_fifth]

The officers were gathered in Crysania’s Tower to discuss the factioning of the Henchmen. The conversation was lighthearted and Crysania was just glad to have everyone in one spot for a bit. The conversation hushed when Dandd and Balreth started comparing notes of olde. Dandd: I haven’t seen anything like this since a +1 and a Methodical Paranoia were considered admirable traits. Balreth caressed the Diamonds, Rubies, and Sapphires in his belt pouch, failing to suppress a grin.
Crysania: I blame Balreth!
She was only half-joking.
Crysania: who can resist his tall, Lean, physique?
Everyone checks out Balreth, who flexes instinctively.
Crysania: Balreth is the only one I’ve ever met who actually got YOUNGER with time.
Dandd mutters under his breath: @$$hole.
Crysania: Balreth comes in, smelling of parchment and polyhedrons. He is friends with merchants the world over and is just a downright agreeable guy.
The officers nod and murmur in approval.
Crysania: …but then. POW! Snippy Snap. It’s amazing coming from a guy like Balreth.
Dandd: …and it’s how he says sssnnniipppyy snnnnaaaaaaap too, it’s not an authoritative statement. It’s a “I’m the man” type statement, a self-assurance at medium volume.
Dandd: He comes in smiling, an everyone loves having him around. Then he goes out, spike kills a few here and there, acts as if it’s an everyday thing, and everyone loves having him around EVEN MORE!
Dandd: Balreth is likely more popular than Crysania.
Crysania: I agree, Spiritspike isn’t as exciting to watch as the sniper technique.
[A brief pause]
Dandd: And Balreth doesn’t Forcechoke People…
[a lot of nodding and murmuring]
Lalandra: So What? So Crysania is Tough but Fair? She’s balanced! You will get healed after the forcehoke. Balreth just leaves his victim in Lawn Ornament state. BUT WHAT ABOUT ME? I am the only one of the Senior Four that doesn’t have a faction of henchmen wanting to follow me..
Balreth: I didn’t go out recruiting…
Enter into the room two of the Order of the Arrow members: equipped with Red Norn Axes and Dragon Gauntlets.
Crysania: Speaking of recruits! –she says beaming from ear to ear.
Nyx: I got left with the dumb ones…
Lalandra: Better than none at all!
Dandd: Wait! I think I got it!
The group is listening intently.
Dandd: They’ve done the Quinseeker Prophecies. Now they have moved on to Quinhalla Factions.
Dandd: It should prove be most interesting, if I do say so myself.
Lalandra: I want a faction.
Crysania: Well then Nyx, Balreth, please take good care of our henchmen. We’ll meet again soon. I hope everyone liked the food. Shing and Sour Pork is a real hit with the men.
Lalandra: I WANT A FACTION!
—
So Balreth, and his Order of the Arrow, are out in riven earth, high atop the waterfall looking down.
Balreth: I wonder how far down It is?
Arrowman 1: YOU HEARD HIM – GET TO WORK!
All the arrow men throw down their gear and start fishing for rope, counterweight, and any other equipment that could be used. The Men were amazingly fast, doubly so for Henchmen. They tied up a henchmen and discovered the rope wasn’t long enough. The Arrowmen were saddened.
Balreth wanted to run an experiment.
Balreth: Someone needs to tell me how long this waterfall is, NOW!.
Arrowmen Sergeant: YOU heard ‘EM! GET THE [@#$%] UP! LETS GO!
One of the henchmen leapt off of the waterfall.
Arrorman 3: 1 Sir
Arrorman 3: 2 Sir
Arrorman 3: 5 Sir
Arrorman 3 caved in his skull on the rocks below.
Arrowman 1: Sir Silverlock, approximately 5.4 seconds to impact.
Arrowman 2 Leaps off of the waterfall as well, to verify.
Arrowman 2: 1 Sir, 2 Sir, 5 Sir! [CRACK!]
Arrowman 1: Verified Sir, roughly 5.4 seconds to impact.
Balreth orders a resurrection and retires to Quinhalla
In his fortress, Balreth grinned. He could get used to something like this 🙂
—
Meanwhile, near Death Valley,
Henchman 1: Lalandra! We have a faction idea!
Lalandra: REALLY?!
Henchman 1: Yes! The Pre-Order!
Lalandra: The…Pre? Order?
Henchman 1: YES! We take several Gifts of the Huntsman and arrange them in a pyramid formation for an icon.
Lalandra Groans.
Henchman 2: Here’s our slogan: “Screw your XP. Screw your Plotline. It’s easy here!”
Lalandra weeps uncontrollably.
[awkward pause]
Henchman 1: What’s wrong with The Pre-Order?
Lalandra Bursts
Lalandra: IF YOU’RE ALREADY HERE, IT’S TOO LATE! IT’S PAST TENSE! IT’S NO MORE! FOR QUINHALLA RESIDENTS, THIS IS AN EX-ORDER!
Henchman 1: oh yeah…
[the henchmen run away quick, fast, and in a hurry]
Lalandra sniffles
Lalandra: I bet even Dandd gets an Order before me!
Just then a group of henchmen were walking past Death Valley, towards the now-colorful Henchmen Quarters.
Henchman 77: I failed the test…
Henchman 204: Me too…
Henchman 289: I heard that only Crysania, Balreth, Angel, and Gideon passed the test.
Lalandra was nervous.
Lalandra: You there! What test?
Henchman 77: The Beta Order test.
Lalandra looked puzzled
Henchman 204: It’s a test given by Dandd to grant admission in the Honorary Beta Order.
Lalandra: What’s the Beta Order?
Henchman 289: “What was shapes what is” A reference to Adventures before Quinhalla was Built.
Lalandra sighs, and turns to go back to her cave.
Lalandra: Even Dandd got an Order before me…
Lalandra closes the door to her cave and ponders what to do to merit a faction of henchmen.
Lalandra brainstorms for awhile. An idea!
Lalandra: Order of the Sidekick!
Lalandra: Angel could be a member too. I often support someone in Crysania’s Clan, and Angel supports someone in Balreth’s clan.
A pause.
Lalandra: No… It wouldn’t be long before I’m referred to as “Robin” or “Bullwinkle” or something.
Lalandra: Hmmm… … … Order of the Party Member!
A pause.
Lalandra: No, everyone’s a party member. Order of the Party? !! I like that one. Order of the Party!
An energetic pause.
Lalandra: Go Anywhere, Do Anything, Be Anyone, Support the Party Leader! Something like this, this will work!
Lalandra runs out of Death Valley to start her Faction too, let’s just see if anyone will join.

[/four_fifth]
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