[three_fourth]
Henchman 1: Did you hear?
Jeni: Like, who hasn’t?
Henchman 1: I know! …and it happened so fast!
Balreth is listening, trying to get some context clues.
Jeni: Like, Totally! I would kill to be that tough.
Henchman 1: I know! I would kill just to be as tough as her [bare] feet!
Jeni: Like, who’s her masseuse? I need some foot lovin’ too.
Henchman 1: Maybe Magni?
Jeni: Like, eeww. There is a such thing as too manly, even for Norn.
Henchman 1: hmpf, learn something new every day.
Jeni: Like, HighFive!
Henchman 1: …that’s not funny…
Jeni: Oh yeah…
—
Balreth decides to find out what this big news is, and it didn’t take him long to find Spike.
Balreth: Howdy.
Spike: THAT MOTHER@#$%ER. HOW COULD HE!?
Balreth: How could who do what?
Spike: I will silence his lie hole! It only spews LIES and EVEN MORE LIES!
Balreth: Spike?
Spike: Oh Yes! He will taste the fluoride sting of Spike Baltrihper!
Balreth sighs and leaves. On his way out he hears Spike yell ‘Curse You, Simon!’
Balreth has a lead!
—
Balreth hops on White Base to make it to the Zeal Islands, but instead gets diverted to his own Fortress of the Arrow. His departure from white base sends the henchmen in their usual frenzy, opening portcullises, gates, force fields, dimensional rifts, iehovah bridges, star-trek style manual doors, the front door and reigning in various leashes as well as fetching his favorite slippers and robe. Balreth stopped to marvel at the efficiency of his well-drilled unit.
Balreth neared his fortress, and the horns signaled his arrival. A henchman ran out with a Order of the Arrow Publication: The OSINT BUB. Balreth scanned headlines, and found nothing that would merit such buzz.
Balreth: Is our siege weaponry operational?
Henchman 2: Yes, Sir!
Balreth looks up: Can it hit the Zeal Islands?
Henchman 2 grins wildly: I’ve been waiting for this day…
Balreth backhands the henchman with the full weight of the Dragon Gauntlet.
Balreth yelled: Burning Finger!!!
The stunned henchman was helpless against balreth’s fiery grasp, the gauntlet’s mouth spraying his face with wave after wave of pure fire.
Balreth: Heat End!
A localized explosion knocked the henchman’s corpse back several feet before it impacted the ground.
Grace, gently: Feel better?
Balreth grins: I always wanted to try that.
Balreth and Grace giggle together.
Balreth shouts up to the battlements: Secure the Siege Weapon, Target the Zeal Islands, DO NOT load ammunition.
A flurry of reds and pinks can be seen running about the fortress, executing orders.
Grace: What’s going on?
Balreth: Not sure. Crysania’s nowhere to be found. Nyx and Salah are making some holiday plans, Spike was one step away from a murderous fury and all the henchmen are all abuzz about something.
Grace: So why not take the ship thingy?
Balreth: White Base.
Grace, grinning: Yes, that one.
Balreth: I tried, it got diverted here.
There was a bit of a pause before Grace had a realization!
Grace: Tell me you’re not being thrown up there via the siege weapon.
Balreth scoffed: Of course not. I’m having henchmen do it, with rope.
Grace sighs and shakes her head.
—
The siege weapon is prepared, and a henchman loaded.
Balreth: Fire!
The henchman is flung from the siege weapon and flies at a very high speed…right into the rock face beneath where he wanted to land.
Henchman 4: Lawno! …wait…rock-o?
The second henchman was flung higher into the air, too high. His angle was too steep and he never made it to the islands, instead he fell between the Islands and the Fortress and into the mists unknown.
Grace: I wonder where you end up?
Balreth and a couple other henchman shuddered in the thought of that.
Henchman 4: Dood is still stuck in the rockface!
Grace: Are you sure you want to go this route?
Balreth grinned and helped with the trajectory adjustments.
The third henchman was flung at a good angle and after a terrifying flight over the mists, landed upon one of Crysania’s Zeal Islands.
Balreth loaded himself up, having seen the results. He commanded to be fired, and was promptly launched towards Zeal islands. ¾ of the way there or so, Balreth collided with a travelling white base, and was hanging on for dear life! White Base made an abrupt turn and Balreth was sent flying once more! Fortunately for Balreth, he landed near the Menagerie much to the alarm of a startled Nyx and Salah.
Balreth groaned, stood up slowly, and dusted himself off.
Balreth explained that he was trying to find out the news, whatever news this may be, and trying to get up to Zeal Islands.
Nyx giggled: White base has an issue right now, all go-there buttons are off. If you hit the islands, you go to the fortress, if you hit the fortress, you go to the common area, etc.
Balreth: so…maybe the temple of indecision?
Salah shrugs: I don’t know.
Balreth smiles: Of course not.
—
Balreth boards White Base and presses the button to go to the Temple. Instead, he is brought to the Islands!
Balreth steps out to see Rain and Razy standing guard.
/doh!
Stabbith: You can go ahead.
Balreth nods and thinks aloud ‘That’s odd. Crysania NEVER has a guard force anymore.’
Balreth hopped from one island to another, rapidly making his way to Crysania’s Tower.
Balreth caught a scent and smiled: There’s the Rich Mahogany!
Balreth made a slight detour and poked his head in Wiki and sees Dandd scribbling away.
Balreth: Hey Old Man! An orc walks into the bar with a parrot on his shoulder and the bartender says “Wow, that’s really neat. Where’d you get it?”
Dandd grins: “In a cave.” the parrot replies. That’s almost as old as you, Old Man!
Balreth and Dandd shake hands, merrily.
Balreth: So what’s all the buzz about?
Dandd: The-Sania is in her tower, go ask her yourself.
Balreth turns to leave.
Dandd: Oh! Be sure to tip.
Balreth is confused, but shrugs and continues on. Wiki and the Tower are adjacent, and Balreth looks at it in wonder.
When Balreth enters the tower, he is amazed. He looks around at the grating, smooth walls, and partial ceiling and mutters ‘I should visit more often.’
Balreth hears Crysania’s voice up higher and wonders aloud how to get up there. Very quickly, Balreth is thrown into the air again!
Balreth Screams: Not Again!!!
Balreth lands on Crysania’s floor and takes a moment to collect himself.
Crysania: …yeah probably.
Gwen: So you going to spread the whole ‘victory brought to you by the letter m’ thing?
Crysania: Doubtful. That’s our thing, not everyone’s.
Balreth remembered the tip advice and dropped a couple gold down the shaft.
Balreth: Alright!!! Sorry to barge in, but what the @#% is going on.
Simon: I’m Mad as hell and I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore!
Everyone but Balreth nods in agreement.
Balreth: You guys have been hanging out too much.
Simon: One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas, but you had me at hello.
Crysania grins, and points to a series of maps woven from scrap materials.
Balreth pours over the maps, intent on finding the answer:
Assassin’s Promise Assault Enchantments Aura of Displacement Beguiling Haze Dark Apostasy Flashing Blades Fox’s Promise Golden Skull Strike Hidden Caltrops Locust’s Fury Mark of Insecurity Moebius Strike Palm Strike Seeping Wound Shadow Form Shadow Meld Shadow Prison Shadow Shroud Shattering Assault Shroud of Silence Siphon Strength Temple Strike Wastrel’s Collapse Way of the Assassin Way of the Empty Palm Arcane Zeal Avatar of Balthazar Avatar of Dwayna Avatar of Grenth Avatar of Lyssa Avatar of Melandru Ebon Dust Aura Grenth’s Grasp Onslaught Pious Renewal Reaper’s Sweep Vow of Silence Vow of Strength Wounding Strike Zealous Vow Blinding Surge Double Dragon Elemental Attunement Energy Boon Ether Prism Ether Prodigy Ether Renewal Glimmering Mark Glyph of Energy Glyph of Renewal Gust Icy Shackles Invoke Lightning Lightning Surge Master of Magic Mind Blast Mind Burn Mind Freeze Mind Shock Mirror of Ice Mist Form Obsidian Flesh Ride the Lightning Sandstorm Savannah Heat Searing Flames Second Wind Shatterstone Shockwave Star Burst Stone Sheath Thunderclap Unsteady Ground Ward Against Harm Water Trident Air of Disenchantment Arcane Languor Crippling Anguish Echo Enchanter’s Conundrum Energy Drain Energy Surge Expel Hexes Extend Conditions Fevered Dreams Hex Eater Vortex Illusionary Weaponry Ineptitude Keystone Signet Lyssa’s Aura Mantra of Recall Mantra of Recovery Migraine Panic Power Block Power Flux Power Leech Psychic Distraction Psychic Instability Recurring Insecurity Shared Burden Shatter Storm Signet of Illusions Signet of Midnight Simple Thievery Stolen Speed Symbols of Inspiration Tease Visions of Regret Air of Enchantment Amity Aura of Faith Balthazar’s Pendulum Blessed Light Boon Signet Defender’s Zeal Divert Hexes Empathic Removal Glimmer of Light Healer’s Boon Healer’s Covenant Healing Burst Healing Hands Healing Light Life Barrier Life Sheath Light of Deliverance Mark of Protection Martyr Peace and Harmony Ray of Judgment Restore Condition Scribe’s Insight Shield of Deflection Shield of Judgment Shield of Regeneration Signet of Judgment Signet of Removal Spell Breaker Unyielding Aura Withdraw Hexes Word of Censure Word of Healing Zealous Benediction Animate Flesh Golem Aura of the Lich Blood is Power Contagion Corrupt Enchantment Cultist’s Fervor Depravity Discord Feast of Corruption Grenth’s Balance Icy Veins Jagged Bones Life Transfer Lingering Curse Offering of Blood Order of Apostasy Order of the Vampire Order of Undeath Pain of Disenchantment Plague Signet Ravenous Gaze Reaper’s Mark Signet of Suffering Soul Bind Soul Leech Spiteful Spirit Spoil Victor Tainted Flesh Toxic Chill Vampiric Spirit Virulence Wail of Doom Weaken Knees Well of Power Wither Angelic Bond Anthem of Fury Anthem of Guidance Cautery Signet Crippling Anthem Cruel Spear Defensive Anthem Focused Anger Incoming! It’s Just a Flesh Wound. Soldier’s Fury Song of Purification Song of Restoration Stunning Strike The Power Is Yours! Archer’s Signet Barrage Broad Head Arrow Burning Arrow Crippling Shot Enraged Lunge Equinox Escape Expert’s Dexterity Famine Ferocious Strike Glass Arrows Greater Conflagration Heal as One Incendiary Arrows Infuriating Heat Lacerate Magebane Shot Marksman’s Wager Melandru’s Arrows Melandru’s Resilience Melandru’s Shot Oath Shot Poison Arrow Practiced Stance Prepared Shot Punishing Shot Quick Shot Quicksand Rampage as One Scavenger’s Focus Smoke Trap Spike Trap Strike as One Trapper’s Focus Clamor of Souls Grasping Was Kuurong Signet of Spirits Wanderlust Weapon of Quickening Defiant Was Xinrae Preservation Spirit Light Weapon Tranquil Was Tanasen Vengeful Was Khanhei Attuned Was Songkai Consume Soul Ritual Lord Soul Twisting Spirit Channeling Wielder’s Zeal Caretaker’s Charge Destructive Was Glaive Offering of Spirit Weapon of Fury Signet of Ghostly Might Weapon of Remedy Xinrae’s Weapon Reclaim Essence Spirit’s Strength Auspicious Parry Backbreaker Battle Rage Bull’s Charge Charge! Charging Strike Cleave Coward! Crippling Slash Decapitate Defy Pain Devastating Hammer Dragon Slash Dwarven Battle Stance Earth Shaker Enraged Smash Eviscerate Flourish Forceful Blow Gladiator’s Defense Headbutt Hundred Blades Magehunter Strike Magehunter’s Smash Primal Rage Quivering Blade Rage of the Ntouka Shove Skull Crack The Great Northern Wall Fort Ranik Ruins of Surmia Nolani Academy Borlis Pass The Frost Gate Gates of Kryta D’Alessio Seaboard Divinity Coast The Wilds Bloodstone Fen Aurora Glade Riverside Province Sanctum Cay Dunes of Despair Thirsty River Elona Reach Augury Rock The Dragon’s Lair Ice Caves of Sorrow Iron Mines of Moladune Thunderhead Keep Ring of Fire Abaddon’s Mouth Hell’s Precipice Minister Cho’s Estate Zen Daijun Vizunah Square Nahpui Quarter Tahnnakai Temple Arborstone Boreas Seabed Sunjiang District Gyala Hatchery The Eternal Grove Unwaking Waters Raisu Palace Imperial Sanctum Chahbek Village Jokanur Diggings Blacktide Den Consulate Docks Venta Cemetery Kodonur Crossroads Pogahn Passage Rilohn Refuge Moddok Crevice Tihark Orchard Dasha Vestibule Dzagonur Bastion Grand Court of Sebelkeh Jennur’s Horde Nundu Bay Gate of Desolation Ruins of Morah Gate of Pain Gate of Madness Abaddon’s Gate Ascalon Foothills Diessa Lowlands Dragon’s Gullet Eastern Frontier Flame Temple Corridor Old Ascalon Pockmark Flats Regent Valley The Breach Anvil Rock Deldrimor Bowl Griffon’s Mouth Iron Horse Mine Traveler’s Vale Kryta Cursed Lands Kessex Peak Nebo Terrace North Province Scoundrel’s Rise Stingray Strand Talmark Wilderness Tears of the Fallen The Black Curtain Twin Serpent Lakes Watchtower Coast Dry Top Ettin’s Back Majesty’s Rest Mamnoon Lagoon Reed Bog Sage Lands Silverwood Tangle Root The Falls Diviner’s Ascent Prophet’s Path Salt Flats Skyward Reach The Arid Sea The Scar Vulture Drifts Dreadnought’s Drift Frozen Forest Grenth’s Footprint Ice Floe Icedome Lornar’s Pass Mineral Springs Snake Dance Spearhead Peak Talus Chute Tasca’s Demise Witman’s Folly Perdition Rock Haiju Lagoon Jaya Bluffs Kinya Province Minister Cho’s Estate Panjiang Peninsula Saoshang Trail Sunqua Vale Zen Daijun Bukdek Byway Nahpui Quarter Pongmei Valley Raisu Palace Shadow’s Passage Shenzun Tunnels Sunjiang District Tahnnakai Temple Wajjun Bazaar Xaquang Skyway Arborstone Drazach Thicket Ferndale Melandru’s Hope Morostav Trail Mourning Veil Falls The Eternal Grove Archipelagos Boreas Seabed Gyala Hatchery Maishang Hills Mount Qinkai Rhea’s Crater Silent Surf Unwaking Waters Cliffs of Dohjok Fahranur, The First City Issnur Isles Lahtenda Bog Mehtani Keys Plains of Jarin Zehlon Reach Arkjok Ward Bahdok Caverns Barbarous Shore Dejarin Estate Gandara, the Moon Fortress Jahai Bluffs Marga Coast Sunward Marches The Floodplain of Mahnkelon Turai’s Procession Forum Highlands Garden of Seborhin Holdings of Chokhin Resplendent Makuun The Hidden City of Ahdashim The Mirror of Lyss Vehjin Mines Vehtendi Valley Wilderness of Bahdza Yatendi Canyons Crystal Overlook Joko’s Domain Poisoned Outcrops The Alkali Pan The Ruptured Heart The Shattered Ravines The Sulfurous Wastes Bjora Marches Drakkar Lake Ice Cliff Chasms Jaga Moraine Norrhart Domains Varajar Fells Charr Homelands Dalada Uplands Grothmar Wardowns Sacnoth Valley Tarnished Coast Alcazia Tangle Arbor Bay Magus Stones Riven Earth Sparkfly Swamp Verdant Cascades Arachni’s Haunt Bloodstone Caves Bogroot Growths Catacombs of Kathandrax Cathedral of Flames Darkrime Delves Fronis Irontoe’s Lair Frostmaw’s Burrows Heart of the Shiverpeaks Oola’s Lab Ooze Pit Raven’s Point Rragar’s Menagerie Secret Lair of the Snowmen Sepulchre of Dragrimmar Shards of Orr Slavers’ Exile Vloxen Excavations The Beginning of the End The Missing Vanguard Against the Charr Warband of Brothers Assault on the Stronghold Northern Allies Curse of the Nornbear A Gate Too Far Blood Washes Blood The Knowledgeable Asura Oola’s Laboratory Finding the Bloodstone G.O.L.E.M. Against the Destroyers Destruction’s Depths A Time for Heroes.
Scribbled in the Sacnoth Valley is a name “Shons the Pretender.”
Balreth: That’s a lot of info. That’s likely everything! You want me to sort through everything?
Crysania looks at her team: Tahlkora, Dunkoro, Ogden, Gwen, Norgu, Simon and Razah, then back at Balreth.
While everyone else grinned, Simon finally spoke: Yo Adrian! I see dead people.
Balreth muttered: Dead People…
Balreth turned back to the list again.
Balreth: Wait a minute… Dead People… This is skill hunter here. …and these are guardian missions …and these are vanquishing maps! …and these are…!!!
Balreth whips back to Crysania: Master of the North!
Balreth’s eyes widen: You finished it. Them. Everything!
Crysania: How about a cheer for our analyst here!
The M Team Cheers!
Crysania: And my very last kill that sealed it all was a charr.
Crysania sits back in her chair, smiling.
Balreth nods in approval: VERY nice.
Balreth pauses a bit: So what’s next?
Crysania: Help out when requested, and celebrate a bit. Maybe eat a couple too many sweets, drink a couple too many pints, and play with a couple too many fireworks. You know, relax a bit. Then, when I get tired of that, go get my body and think about the future of the guild.
Balreth: Sounds like a plan. Congrats on Legendary Master of the North.
Crysania: Have I successfully fulfilled “quin” not quit, yet?
Balreth laughs: Nope. Close though.
The whole group laughs, but Crysania does wonder what lies in store for her now.
[/three_fourth]
[one_fourth_last]
Episode 52
22 Jun 2011
Notes: Full references to be added soon.
References: Guild History
[/one_fourth_last]