[three_fourth]
Crysania is sitting on a makeshift stool in the center of QH2, staring at a reflection of herself in the central portal.
Crysania: That was fast, old man.
Dandd, nervously: About that…
Crysania: How many did you bring?
Dandd, still nervous: Zero.
Crysania takes her gaze away from the portal and the reflection vanishes.
Crysania, gently: That’s ok.
Dandd strokes his beard: That looked like you, with arms!
Crysania looks at her arms, glowing white-blue: I have arms.
Dandd ponders: Your tattoos looked different.
Crysania grins: Things were a bit different then.
Dandd nods: How long ago was that?
Crysania reflects: six years or so.
Dandd grins: You couldn’t find a good pair of pants in six years? With all your wealth?
Crysania arches an eyebrow: Wealth? Talk to Grace.
Dandd scoffs: Sixteen different guild halls, fully loaded mind you-
Crysania: -Oh lord.
Dandd continues, un-phased: at least 10 suits of armor, including all the expensive ones…
Crysania /shoo: Yeah, yeah-
Dandd presses on: 11 destroyer weapons, 3 oppressor weapons, 1 tormented weapon…
Crysania: I get it-
Dandd ignores her: and those are just the ones you kept. I wonder how many you’ve given away-
Crysania’s will-check to suppress a grin failed.
Dandd: and you’re no merchant. That’s a lot of killing.
Crysania: Do you have a point?
Dandd: YES! In all that, and more, you couldn’t at least find comfy sandals? How many hundreds of ecto have passed through your hands?
Crysania /doh: You forgot runes, insignia, green items, consumables-
Dandd cuts her off: Yes, yes. We know: you give away money like you’re a monk or something.
Dandd pauses to reflect upon his own statement as Crysania flashes an inquisitive look.
Dandd: It’s too bad they don’t have repeat-devices for Titles.
Crysania almost falls off of her stool laughing.
Dandd leaps at the opportunity: Since you’re in such a good mood, it’s a good time to tell you that your tower is in a mess, it is Spike’s fault – and don’t hurt me!
Crysania stares intently into her own past reflection in the portal, choosing her words.
Crysania: That’s ok.
Dandd pales: Well..umm…Damnit Crysania, that’s not right!
Crysania: Ok, Nyx.
Dandd pouts: You don’t care about Rogue Bull. You don’t care about your tower. Something’s amiss.
Crysania points to her reflection: Did you know, back then, I wandered around from outpost to outpost helping random people make their way from Ascalon to Hell’s Precipice?
Dandd strokes his beard: That’s a hell of a walk – not that I doubt you.
Crysania sighs: I used to have to turn people down because there just wasn’t enough room in my party for everyone.
Dandd /ponder: Where are you going with this?
Crysania: I was needed back then. People would go out of their way to try to get my help. They didn’t know me, but saw what I was and believed I could be of assistance.
Dandd chuckles: Sounds stressful.
Crysania nods vigorously: Sometimes very. However, it was gratifying work.
Dandd strikes a defiant pose: And you’re not needed here?
Crysania scoffs: Please. My company is enjoyed, but not required.
Dandd: We’re not all Gods, you know.
Crysania: Not yet, but we have bought the Stairway to Heaven.
Dandd: Not everything that glitters is gold…like your arms, for instance.
Crysania: But with a word they can get what they came for.
Dandd /ponder: You don’t think you can help?
Crysania: I can, but everyone has their runes, insignia, weapons, heroes, and a library of builds-
Dandd: -Prepared. They’re prepared.
Crysania: Exactly. It’s just a matter of time now, with or without me. It’s not just the Nobility either; I have this bad feeling about the future.
Dandd sighs: The future?
Crysania: I just have this feeling there won’t be many monks running around in the future.
Dandd fails to not laugh: No monks? Right…
Crysania glares at Dandd: I’m serious.
Dandd feels the chill in the air and nods soberly: What about Clerics, Priests, or Shamans?
Crysania: Nope.
Dandd feels at a loss: Well, what about Quinhalla?
Crysania gestures all around her: Done.
Dandd is visibly surprised: Really?! You got the calibrations done?
Crysania nods: Yep. Fully functional.
Dandd looks at the portal: So, why is it showing you instead of a destination?
Crysania: The portal simply reflects the thoughts of people nearby. I was thinking about the days when we had henchmen bustling around – hell, we still had henchmen in our party.
Dandd pretends to gasp in horror.
Crysania plays along: I know!
Dandd: What if there are multiple people all nearby the portal?
Crysania: Don’t know yet, I was going to round up Clan Anchorwind and find out.
Dandd squints in thought: Why just Clan Anchorwind?
Crysania was about to answer, but Spike and Simon come bursting through the Zeal portal yelling and flailing about wildly.
Simon: Fault not it was our!
Spike: CCRRYYSSAANNIIAA!!!
Crysania gets off her stool and gives Spike and Simon a moment to catch their breath.
Crysania: One at a time, what happened?
Spike blurts out: This ignus ignoramus killed White Base!
Dandd rubs the bridge of his nose painfully, groaning.
Crysania sighs: At least QH2 is operational.
Simon: Ignus Ignoramus?
Spike stomps a foot: You’re on fire, you idiot!
Simon panics, and begins running laps around the central portal yelling: I’M ON FIRE!
Crysania snaps: you normally are!
Simon stops dead in his tracks: Oh yeah…
Crysania: Now where is White Base?
Spike and Simon exchange looks, and then shift their gaze to the floor.
Crysania’s tone grows irritated: Spikelangelo!
Spike yelps: It…fell into the mists…
Dandd groans: Oh @#$% me.
Simon: I’m not that kind of flaming.
Crysania: Weren’t you just running around panicking because you’re on fire?
Simon giggles, and then takes a pre-cautionary step away from Crysania.
Spike grins menacingly: It’s a ranged attack, you know.
Simon: Oh yeah…
Crysania: Did anyone fall into the mists with it?
Spike shakes his head: Nope, Simon and I managed to jump.
Crysania: Well, we might as well start spreading the word to use the QH2 portals instead of looking for White Base.
Dandd /agree: And Spike, I want the tower Spic-and-Span – now.
Spike whispers loudly: That’s racist.
Simon’s flame puffs in confusion: What’s racist about Spike and Spam?
Spike, seemingly involuntarily, yells: I DON’T LIKE SPAM!
Crysania: What about Egg and Spam?
Spike: No!
Crysania: Egg, Bacon and Spam?
Spike: NO!
Crysania: Egg, Bacon, Sausage and Spam?
Spike: NO!!
Dandd: Spam, Bacon, Sausage and Spam?
Spike: NO!!!
Dandd: Spam, Spam, Spam, Egg and Spam?
Spike: NO!!!! Can’t I have Egg, Bacon, Spam and Sausage without the Spam?
The other three in unison: EEEWWW!
Spike: What do you mean EEWWW?!
Dandd: Just get the tower Spic and Span.
Spike leans in and whispers: …racist…
Dandd points fiercely: NOW!
Spike and Simon leap in surprise, and quickly depart back to the Zeal portal.
Dandd points to the portal: Spam!
Crysania looks at the portal and giggles: Indeed.
Dandd: So shall we start spreading the word?
Crysania: Yeah.
Dandd: Ok, I’ll head to the fortress.
Dandd starts walking off to the Menagerie portal.
Crysania points: Fortress is that way.
Dandd flashes a sheepish grin and starts walking to the correct portal.
Crysania’s reflection appears in the portal again.
Crysania speaks to it: I know…soon.
Dandd stops: What?!
Crysania /shoo: Nothing! Go. I’ll get the Temple and the Menagerie.
Dandd nods: Ok!
—
Spike grumbles: I never thought Dandd would be a racist.
Simon lets out a confused noise: I still don’t see what’s racist about Spam.
Spike’s agitation level rises: SPIC-AND-SPAN. S.P.A.N.
Simon recoils in fright: Spam, I heard you…racist.
Spike lets out a frustrated yell and begins to chase after Simon, who is content to yell, repeatedly: Spike loves Spam, pass it on!
—
Crysania walks through the portal to the Temple of Indecision, where Lalandra used to direct traffic for the largest section of The Call of the Hoolequin: The Order of the Party. The Temple’s lack of traffic outside only mirrors Crysania’s lack of enthusiasm about delivering the bad news about White Base.
Crysania expertly maneuvers the deep and twisting passages of the Temple, finding Lalandra walking down one of the hallways.
Lalandra waves merrily: Hey @#$%er.
Crysania nods: Hi.
Crysania walks past Lalandra without another word. Confused, Lalandra decides to follow.
Lalandra: So…What’s up?
Crysania: Came to get Rain. By the way, White Base is broken.
Lalandra grumbles: Do I want to know how you got here?
Crysania sighs: The QH2 portals are working, you know.
Lalandra: Really?!
Crysania clenches her jaw: Nope, I flew here riding on the hopes and dreams of forgotten henchmen.
Lalandra nods: I believe it.
Crysania shakes her head.
Lalandra becomes defensive: What? You’re tough like that.
Crysania and Lalandra emerge in the central command chamber, where they find Rain enjoying a snack.
Rain sees Crysania and puts his food down: I didn’t do it.
Crysania: Do what?
Rain: Whatever it is that brought you down off that floating rock of yours.
Crysania takes a slow breath: That ‘floating rock’ is a fully-functioning guild hall with a working portal.
Rain looks amazed: Wow! I had no idea it was coming along so well.
Crysania: Maybe if you visited once in a while…
Rain: Hey! I was helping around here.
Crysania: I know, it’s what you’ve been saying for a while now. I came to let you know that you can go to QH2 right now and learn what it is to be an Anchorwind, or you can stay here and be part of Clan Corvus.
Rain stands up angrily: WHAT?!
Crysania lets loose a sinister chuckle: Yeah, Lalandra wouldn’t take you in anyway.
Rain yells angrily: @#$% you. I’ve been training hard down here!
Crysania’s battlefield grin, the Original Hoolequin gaze, returns to her face.
Rain backs down: Ok, maybe not that hard.
Crysania looks at Lalandra and leaves without saying a word.
After Crysania leaves, Rain looks at Lalandra quizzically: What was that about?
Lalandra /taunt: You just got called out, that’s what that’s all about. You gonna answer the call?
Rain sighs heavily: This is probably going to suck, but…yeah…
Lalandra shrugs: Meh. You’ll probably be back soon anyway, I wouldn’t worry too much.
Rain isn’t convinced: You think so? I don’t know. That seemed strangely intent and distant at the same time.
Lalandra nods: Yeah, probably.
Rain takes another bite of food before leaving the command chamber to pack for the trip.
—
Crysania emerges back at QH2 to travel to the Menagerie, when she sees Stabbith sitting on her stool.
Stabbith: Yo. Dandd said you plannin’ some @#$%. What’s up?
Crysania grins: Let’s just say there are places to go and people to stab. You in?
Stabbith grins under her mask: I’m in.
Crysania: Pack your @#$%.
Stabbith stands up.
Crysania: -Oh, and Razy, make sure Spike and Simon are ready to go too.
Stabbith nods.
The two walk into separate portals, intent on completing their preparations at Crysania’s command.
—
Spike and Simon are cleaning Crysania’s Tower.
Simon: What are the most famous things we’ve said, I wonder?
Spike pauses: What brings that up?
Simon pauses too: I don’t know. Just something to talk about.
Spike: Well there’s Snippy Snap.
Simon: FTM.
Spike gets excited: That’s not right!
Simon gets excited too: Oh! Now it Get I!
Spike: No no, it’s ‘Oh, I get it now!’
Simon grins: You get what, Spam?
Spike, knowing he walked right into that, growls loudly.
Simon continues: That was easy.
Spike growls again.
Simon, imitating Colonel Spike: Lemme Guess, You gonna knock me the Quin out?
Spike, abruptly: I wonder how Jeni’s doing.
Simon grins.
—
Crysania enters the Menagerie grounds, only to find the same eerie emptiness that persisted in the Temple.
Nyx was out front practicing her archery with Georgia and Janie.
Nyx lets loose an arrow, only to have it come to a halt – suspended in the air – before it hits the target.
Nyx lowers her bow: Crysania!
Crysania releases her grip on the arrow and it falls harmlessly to the ground. She whispers to herself: I’m going to miss doing that.
Nyx: Doing what?
Crysania shakes her head: Nothing, nothing. I came to tell you that White Base is broken, to use the QH2 portals instead.
Nyx /cheer: They’re working?!
Crysania sighs with heavy sadness: The outer portals have been up for a little while now. The central portal now works too.
Nyx cheers happily, and then tries to calm a newly excited Georgia.
Crysania: I’ve already told your Necro Sis. Have you seen Token?
Nyx gestures to the barracks: He’s been helping to clear out that icky place with Galard and a few others.
Crysania nods: Thanks
Nyx salutes, tosses a raptor bone, then prepares to resume her archery practice.
Crysania finds Token and krewe resting outside of the barracks-entrance to Schrodinger’s former hideout.
Crysania looks around for a moment before speaking: Token, I’m taking Razy and Rain. We’ll be gone for a while. Report to Balreth when you’re done here, reinforce his guard force until we return.
Token and Galard /highfive.
Crysania: Tell Guiness and Vixoria to help out around Zeal and Wiki. Keep the place clean.
Token nods.
Crysania: And spread the word that QH2 is functional now. No more White Base.
Token bellows: The portals are working now?
Crysania passes her will-check to keep her composure: Yes…
Crysania leaves, waves to Nyx, and moves to return to QH2.
—
Waiting near the portal are: Rain, Stabbith, Spike, Simon and Dandd.
Dandd: Are you really leaving?
Crysania nods: Yes.
Dandd: Where will you go?
Crysania looks around: To link up with Cerulean.
Dandd is surprised: Oh? Where is that?
Crysania: Well, we come from the land of the ice and snow.
Dandd: From the midnight sun where the hot springs blow?
Simon: Roar.
Dandd points and nods: Roar, of course.
Crysania: The hammer of our wills will drive this clan to new lands. To fight the horde, singing and crying: Quinhalla, I am coming.
Dandd: So you’re coming back?
Crysania sighs: Of course. You think I’d build this only to abandon it? Hardly.
Dandd presses: You’re sure?
Crysania nods: Maybe along the way I’ll recruit more people for our little Caliquinous group.
Dandd: Caliginous?
Crysania frowns: No, caliquinous.
Dandd /doh.
An awkward quiet settles over the gathering.
Simon exclaims with glee: Spam!
Spike whips around: You say that word one more time…
Simon points, enthusiastically, at the portal!
Spike moves his gaze to the portal and sees in image of Spam floating in the center.
Clan Anchorwind erupts in laughter, unable to restrain themselves any longer.
When the giggles stop, Dandd speaks first: Do I really have to say goodbye?
Crysania shakes her head: Nah. You could come with us.
Dandd shakes his head vigorously: Do you have any idea how many Wiki entries need writing or updating?
Crysania grins knowingly: Who knows where the pursuit of spam will take us, anyway.
Spike screams in agony.
Dandd: What about Hydrodynamic Spam?
Spike curls up in a ball on the stone floor of QH2 and weeps openly.
Crysania: Ok, ok. Let’s lay off the you-know-what-
Spike sniffles, but nods in appreciation.
Dandd: So, any last words?
Crysania’s cold-glare shifts to Simon.
Simon hides behind Stabbith: Not… it won’t… say I.
Simon grumbles at himself.
All eyes gradually move to Spike, who pumps a fist into the air.
Colonel Spike: Quin or Quit, Son!
Dandd and Clan Anchorwind return the salute.
Dandd waves sadly as the clan begin to disappear through the portal.
Crysania whispers: We’ll be back.
Dandd glances down fondly at his grail: I’ll be here, waiting.
Crysania waves aerodynamically, and then walks through the portal.
Dandd looks up to see the other officers standing near their respective portals, even Henchman #1 stood near the Zeal portal murmuring about “Just another hench in the hall.”
Dandd, sheepishly: What?
Grace, wearing her merit badge sash wish pride, sighs: At least I’ll have some time to re-stock my kitchen.
Balreth /agree: I’ll have to reinforce my Guard Rotations. Who knows who, or what, they’ll bring back.
Nyx /cheer: I need to fill the menagerie again.
The attention turns to Lalandra.
Lalandra: I think we need to practice our Silkball. We have a Clan’s @$$ to kick when they return. Crysania didn’t even really say goodbye.
Grace /pickme: Totally!
Balreth /roar: Snippy Punt!
Nyx nods: Ya, really.
Dandd, looking around QH2 in awe, laughs to himself: Just another day in Quinland.
Balreth strains to listen: What’s that, old man?
Dandd playfully fires back: I said, HURRY UP! Who knows how long they’ll be.
Everyone begins moving, with cheer and purpose.
Dandd looks back at the portal, showing a reflection of Clan Anchorwind and MDQ walking through the snow: I hope it’s soon…
[/three_fourth]
[one_fourth_last]
Episode 75
27 March 2012
Notes: While Crysania’’s true plans may not be fully understood, we can rest easy knowing she has the Guild’s interests at heart. Who would doubt Crysania anyway, didn’t we learn from Episodes [42] and [43]? Who is no’t glad to see Henchman #1 survived this long? The original Crysania Anchorwind, the Pixie, used to add ‘aerodynamically’ to most of her emotes.
References: Monty Python, Led Zeppelin [Stairway to Heaven, the Immigrant Song], [46] Like, Jeni, Guild History.
[/one_fourth_last]