[four_fifth]
Some Henchmen were gathering at the bulletin board before Morning Formation.
Henchman 3: Anything new?
Henchman 1: Let’s see… Double SS/LB Weekend-
Henchman 2 and 3: Oh Yeah! /highfive
Henchman 1: …Dervishes Suck…-
Henchman 99: If only they would let ME use Eternal Aura…
Henchman 1:…Rangers are too Defensive…-
Henchman 45:…and WE HELD THE LINE!
Henchman 2 and 3: that’s all you did too! /laugh
Henchman 1:…Warriors have layers…-
Henchman 9 breaks into tears and runs away exclaiming “Finally! Someone understands!”
Henchman 1: There’s another note too, WTF is this?
[painful awkward pause]
Henchman 1: [very poorly] Aller Anfang ist schwer, I’m getting the hang of a lot of this. Choosing my primary though? Das steht auf einem anderen Blatt. Mahalo Angel.
Henchman 77’s Head explodes.
Henchman 2: Dood… Seriously… How many languages are in that note?
Henchman 1: I think just two dood. German and Ours.
Henchman 3: What the [Discordant Guitar Notes] Is Mahalo? Doesn’t sound like anything we would say.
After much Tittering, an idea struck!
Henchman 2: Dood! Don’t you get it? maHALO? Angel? This is some religious joke.
Henchman 3: So how many churches now?
Henchman 1: Dwayna. 1. Grenth. 2. Sniper 3. The Non-Denominational Brotherhood of Henchman. 4. The Athiests. 5.
Henchman 2: How can you be an Athiest when Dwayna – HERSELF – comes HERE…
Henchman 1: Shut up. So now we have the Mahalo Church too. 6.
Henchman 3: Jesus Christ…
Henchman 1: Nope, I don’t think we have a “Jesus” Church here…
Henchman 3: It’s just an expression!
Henchman 2: Where did you pick that up?
Henchman 3: Crysania’s Screen Capture – Look! [displays picture]
Henchman 1: Who would want to follow a ranger?
Henchman 3: IT’S JUST AN EXPRESSION!
Henchman 2: Might make a good martyr…
Henchman 1: Nope, that’s a Monk Skill.
Henchman 3: AAAAAAHHHHHH!
Henchman 1: Anyway, let’s just ask around after Formation and find out what we can.
–The Next Morning–
Henchman 1: Dood. Look at this!
Henchman 2: What?
Henchman 1: To Henchman 496, and 572, I saw the range was cleaned up. Mahalo, Balreth.
[awkward pause]
Henchman 2: So Balreth’s converted?
Henchman 3: No more Synagogue of Sniper?
[energetic pause]
All Henchman in Attendance: WOO-HOO! IT’S OVER! /dance
Henchman 1: Dood! We still have to figure out what this Halo is that Angel is talking about.
Henchman 3: Balreth loves playing Halo…
Henchman 2: What the [Guitar Notes]?
Henchman 3: I just blurted that out. I don’t even know what that means.
Henchman 1: Ok, we make a covenant here and now. We FIGHT the Halo!
Henchmen: YEAH!
Henchman 2: Yeah Dood, six gods are enough…
Henchman 3: …and the non-denominational brotherhood…
Henchman 2: true, true.
Henchman 1: [Guitar Notes] Here comes Chuck. Form up!
–the next morning–
The henchmen show up extra-early to see what new pro-halo propaganda has been posted.
[painful groan]
Henchman 1: No…
Henchman 2: That’s it, Where Dhummed.
Henchman 4: Dhumm Song Time?
Henchman 4 gets mercilessly slaughtered by other Henchmen in attendance.
Henchman 1: They got Crysania too. “Hey Henchmen! All your efforts with the Profession Reports hasn’t got unnoticed. We’ll order Canthan or something, Kaineng Duck or Shing and Sour Pork? We’ll have a formation and get some votes when Dandd and I Finish. Mahalo, Crysania”
Henchman 2: SHING AND SOUR PORK! I hope we can get some General Tsogo’s Chicken!
Henchman 3 Slaps Henchman 2: This is serious!
Henchman 3, rubbing his cheek: yeah…sorry.
Henchman 1: Okay Doods, Listen up! WE, as in us henchmen, WE need to find this “Halo” Take it on a long and arduous quest against seemingly impossible odds, where not all of you will make it. We will take this “Halo” up to the top of the Mountain in Hell’s Precipice, AND WE SEND IT TO DHUUM!
Henchman 3: Isn’t that a bit Mordor?
Henchman 2: What?
Henchman 3: MORBID! You know, the part where not all of them make it…
Henchman 2: True.
It was just then that Angel had Entered Quinhalla via Map Travel.
Henchman 15; There She is! For the Covenant!
Henchman 15 attempted to attack Angel, but was instead paralyzed through various pressure point techniques.
Henchman 1: For [Guitar Notes] Sake! ANOTHER person walking around here with impossibly debilitating abilities…
Balreth, Lalandra, Nyx, and Crysania Map Travel into Quinhalla as well, Reminiscing about Ascalon and the Northern Shiverpeaks.
Right in front of them, a paralyzed Henchman…
Balreth spotted Angel and hurried off to her.
Nyx wandered back to the Menagerie to return her pet after some good exercise.
Henchman 1: Crysania…with all due respect…may we..umm…have…youknow…the…halo? soweummcanmakeanepicquesttothrowitdownavolcanoandsaveeveryone?
Henchman 2: Yeah Dood. We would rather have forcechoke and sniper than this halo stuff.
Lalandra felt invisible.
Lalandra: Does no body fear me?
The Henchmen fought, resisted, and twisted their faces but in the end could not help but laughing.
Henchman 88: oooooo…not Necrosis! I’m soooooo sccaaarrreeeddd…
Crysania Held out her hand, shaped like a cup.
Henchman 88, smiling at Lalandra the whole way, kneeled down and choked himself.
Crysania: What Halo?
Henchmen: Exactly.
Lalandra had enough, and stormed off to Death Valley.
The Henchmen pointed vigorously towards the bulletin board.
It clicked.
Crysania laughed, a good booming laugh that echoed all over the front part of Quinhalla.
Henchmen: For the Covenant!
Henchman 1: WAIT! …Just [guitar notes] wait.
Henchman 1: So you DO have the halo?
Crysania: It’s not an object, it’s a word.
Henchman 1: A word? What language?
Crysania: Hawaiian
Henchman 1: I don’t know, How are you?
Crysania: I’m fine…
Henchman 1: Seriously, what is mahalo?
Crysania: Thank you.
Henchman 1: You’re welcome.
Crysania grins, and returns to her tower without another word.
Henchman 1: They got Crysania! Anyone how anything about this “Howaiiam?”
Henchman 2: I do. You’re Fine.
/maptravel: Henchman 104: Dood! There are no “Howaiiam” Districts. I tried saying Mahalo in the German and International districts. Most people just looked at me funny. One guy said “You’re Welcome.”
Henchman 1: No! It’s spreading to the International Districts too!
/maptravel: Henchman 206: DOOD! HAWAIIAN means something that comes from Hawaii!
Henchman 1: uhhh…Where’s Hawaii?
Henchman 206: uhhh…oh [guitar note]
Henchman 1: Listen up men! Grab your [guitar note]. We have to scour every corner of every map, and find this Hawaii. When we’re there, we vanquish EVERYTHING, grab the HALO, take it to Hell’s Precipice and-
Henchmen: For the Covenant!
Henchmen: QUIN OR QUIT!
The henchmen zealously disperse.
Dandd: You’re ok with this?
Crysania: Why not? They found the Grail, didn’t they?
Dandd looks at the grail, filled with Aged Dwarven Ale, and takes a sip.
Dandd, grinning: I guess so.
Dandd takes another Sip.
Dandd: Sometimes, Crysania, you can be a real @$$.
Crysania, grinning from ear to ear: Mahalo.
Laughter ensues.
[/four_fifth]
[one_fifth_last]
Episode #24
10 Sep 2010
Notes: Enter Clan Neveah, albeit not in any firm, definitive, fashion.
References: Guild History, Halo, Lord of the Rings, Abrahamic Monotheism, Metalocalypse, Mass Effect, Shrek, Invader Zim, Full Metal Jacket.
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