[four_fifth]
[21]…and You’re a Henchman
A young Assassin henchman was getting tired of being Bull Striked all the time by Warrior Henchmen in the Henchman Quarters. He wanted to find a way to defend himself. Killing them was too easy and didn’t teach the lesson. Death IS temporary after all. No, He wanted to embarrass these guys, – Trying to chase her around the Temple of the Six Gods. Our young Henchman was sitting in the library reading. He was getting frustrated. The information just wasn’t there. The STORIES were. Another boss drops from sniper. “I get it…” He sighed aloud. How to make those stories come true for him?
“Maybe I’ll ask The Stabbith Day” He thought, as she walked by.
“No” He argued, she’s walking with a purpose towards Crysania’s Tower.
“How about Nyx?” Nope, she’s out with other henchmen, he remembered.
“Angel is busy in training” He stated.
“Balreth is elusive lately” He sighed.
“Lalandra would just say ‘Go Ask Crysania’” His tone dropped.
“ I guess I’ll go ask-“ he started, interrupted by the sights and sounds of The Stabbith Day falling to her death in the middle of the circular staircase.
muttered another henchman nearby. Much muted giggling followed.
The Stabbith Day walked by, just the same as she walked in.
“Nope. I’ll just ask Tanto or someone.” He resigned.
The Next Day, our henchman was in the library again, pondering the same thing.
Again, The Stabbith Day walked up to see Crysania and fell to her death.
The Third Day, same thing. Rumors began to spread about the possibilities of what was going on.
Fourth, Fifth, Sixth Days. Same thing. The Stabbith Day didn’t even seem bothered.
Finally, on the 7th day The Stabbith Day was confronted outside the Henchman Quarters about her failures. She was getting beat up pretty good, verbally speaking. One Henchman stepped forward and challenged her to a Status < Duel.
“What’s a Status Duel?” Asked our young henchman.
“Idiot! It determines who is a Hero and who is a Henchman! Don’t you read anything?” Yelled an irritated henchman in the crowd.
“No, I don’t like to be bored with mechanics.” Retorted our henchman.
“but a Status Duel…” He pondered aloud, his spirits rising with the idea of being a Hero someday.
The Stabbith Day Accepted, and entered into a foreign stance. She didn’t look combative at all, didn’t even have balled fists. Our henchman was confused.
The Challenger began. Miss. Miss. Block. Miss. Block. Miss. Death.
Angry shouts came from all directions and one by one, the crowd attacked The Stabbith Day. They all died, one by one, in almost a rhythmic fashion.
The Stabbith Day turned to our henchman, terrified to the core. “You, too?” She asked.
He stood there, frozen – Deep Freeze level Frozen.
“You killed them all…” He finally muttered
“Nah” she shrugged. “I just put the boots to them, medium style.”
She paused, then said thoughtfully “Hey, you’re an assassin. Remember Sharpness Without Effort.”
Those words burned into his soul. He was going to be a Hero, nay, a LEGEND!
When he remembered his legs, he hurried to the clinic for resurrection support. By the time he got back, he found everyone was alive again and Gwen was resting against the Henchman Quarters building, panting.
Our henchman was so excited, he Shadow Stepped to his notebook: much to the surprise of his roommate, who was engaged in very private affairs with a female henchman. His roommate bashed his head off of the framing of the top bunk and was rolling around the floor grasping the back of his skull screaming “You Cracked my Skull!”
Our henchman, unfazed, said “I can’t do that, that’s a warrior skill.” He then shadow stepped back out, determined to unlock this riddle.
The first person he came across was Chuck. So he asked him about it. “WHAT?” He replied, at volume.
Our henchman thought about asking if Chuck could stop shouting, but upon further review: he already knew the answer.
Our henchman searched Quinhalla for an available learned person to help. None, other than Crysania, who he decided to avoid.
“I know!” He exclaimed, and got to the Chapel as soon as possible. There! Surrounded by healing monks was a necromancer and a razor blade.
“Wait…” He deflated. The Stabbith Day was unarmed. “What that @#$%” Our henchman yelled!
“YEAH!” Bellowed an answer. “BLOOD IS-“ Our Henchman left. We know that one already.
Our Henchman met up with several of the defeated hero-candidates, who wanted to know what she said.
“Sharpness without Effort” he stated.
An awkward pause followed.
“Why don’t we check Wiki?” Said one, cautiously. “Sure” said our henchman, so they all went to the Library.
No one could find anything, so our henchman asked Dandd about ‘Sharpness without Effort’
“Consult the book of Armaments” Dandd said, triumphantly.
They flipped through copies of the Book of Armaments, and sure enough, they found it.
“Sharpness Without Effort: Enchantment Spell. 1|1/4|1 .” – Our henchman likes this already. He continued: “For 10…30 Seconds You gain +1 to every attribute and gain +5% chance to block for each rank in this enchantment.
Gain 0 Adrenaline while under the effects of this enchantment. Ends early if you exert effort.” Our henchman read it three or four times.
Finally he asked: “Ranks in what?”
The Stabbith Day, smiling under her mask, piped in “The enchantment itself.” Our hero was baffled. “For every XP you earn while under the effects of the enchantment, it will rank up.”
“only one xp?” Our henchman exclaimed hopefully.
“No.” Answered a calm Crysania. “1,000,000 XP for rank 2.”
“As if the Luxon title wasn’t enough” Answered another henchman, before his lifeless force-choked body was forcefully expelled from the library.
“Simply Amazing” stated The Stabbith Day.
“Practice” Answered Crysania, “Are you ready for yours?”
They nodded and headed upstairs.
Our Henchman was too excited to see how long it would last, he was in the fields attempting to enchant himself. He wasn’t sure if it was ‘active’ or not, but he kept believing.
Days pass, our Henchman attempting to mimic what he had seen, building confidence in himself. Finally, our henchman is ready to try out his enchantment skills. He finds Lalandra, and challenges her to a friendly match. He enchants himself and she casts Spiteful Spirit on him and waits. Our henchman doesn’t attack, he’s afraid of the hex and he remembers “Ends early if you exert effort.” So he was going to wait like The Stabbith Day did. Several minutes pass, neither one made a move other than the occasional hex cast. Our henchman bowed, thanked Lalandra, and left.
He head to the Archery Range and found Balreth! He asked Balreth for a match and he agreed as well. Our Henchman woke up in the Clinic, vaguely remembering the Red Arrow. Undeterred, he went back and asked for a contest without sniper. Balreth agreed. Our henchman enchanted himself, and Balreth came up and swung his axe. Miss. Our henchman’s confidence soared. Then came inferno and flame burst. Our henchman woke up in the Clinic, one step short of crying.
His progress wasn’t enough.
He continued his training. The Stabbith Day came across his training, and asked for a match. He was happy to agree. They enchanted and began. Our henchman got pummeled. While lying on the ground in agonizing pain, he managed to ask about the “exert no effort part.”
The Stabbith Day giggled. “That was effortless for me!”
Broken, Our henchman staggered back to the Henchman Quarters. His roommate, decent this time, inquired about all the devotion. A group of henchman were all curious. Our henchman stood proud and proclaimed “I am learning Sharpness Without Effort”
A roaring laughter shattered the quiet.
“Go ahead, ‘enchant’ yourself now!” Challenged another henchman.
Sensing the impending attack, our henchman entered into his now-familiar stance and ‘enchanted’ himself.
“So where’s the white cloud around you? Where’s the yellow triangle?” They asked.
…Where were they? He panicked.
Our henchman shadow stepped out of there and ran to check Wiki.
He grabbed the Book of Armaments, and furiously flipped to the page. Same description. “What am I missing?” His anger simmering.
The Stabbith Day reached down and flipped the page. The last line stated: “Not usable by Henchmen.”
“…and you’re a henchman” giggled The Stabbith Day, as she walked off to practice with Crysania.
[/four_fifth]
[one_fifth_last]
Episode 21
2 Sep 2010
Notes: Even so long ago, Crysania was looking at implimenting more structure within the guild. Differentiating Henchmen and Hero statues were among the structure changes to come. Checking Wiki became a regular activity for the guild, and writing guild notes on it was Crysania’s non-combat hobby. Stabbith was Crysania’s less-kind facet spirit once upon a time, and this shows it.
References: Metalocalypse [TV], Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon [Movie], Guild History
[/one_fifth_last]