[four_fifth]
“…Everything in Moderation is Erroneous.” Pronounced Secnded.
“Rarely is there ever anyone who fights for ‘killing in moderation’ or ‘plague in moderation.’” Secnded continued.
There was a pause, an energy in the air building up to frantic pace.
“What they are after, instead, is Harmony. Harmony is a contented state with the environment around you – encompassing good and evil.” Secnded rambled to himself.
“But evil doesn’t truly exist, for it’s just a comparative statement in relation to good.” Secnded knew he was on to something.
“…and good is just a judgment, a reflection of our held values.” Secnded was practically yelling!
“Values are not universal, thus the judgment applies only to the judge.” Secnded was pacing.
“So then Harmony is attained not in the pursuit of destroying evil, but instead through compassion for all, no preconditions or exclusions.”
It was then that the perception of time itself changed for Secnded.
He needed less sleep, less food, but was instead powered by an energy source not easily understood by those around him.
He was able to sense energies both positive and negative from seemingly impossible distances.
He felt an urge to visit Crysania.
He walked up the staircase with a new confidence.
When he reached the top, Crysania simply said “Now you know what being a Monk is truly all about.”
From then on he devoted his life to the well-being of all residents and guests of Quinhalla.
He was Secnded, Child of Dandd, and Bore the Burden of Light.”
Dandd awaited in anticipation for reviews.
Chuck shouted “BOO! NO ACTION!”
Gallagher didn’t get it.
Tanto just left without so much as a word.
Trixie sighed “Great, as if one Telepathic Monk around here wasn’t creepy enough.”
Even Bip didn’t feel like doing anything.
Dandd was sad.
Dandd took the paper to Crysania, who beamed with energy. “I like it! I doubt anyone else will though.”
Dandd shook his head and laughed to himself, used to that eerie predictive analysis.
Dandd spoke: “So what’s wrong with it?”
Crysania: “I involves too many thoughts that most don’t want to think. You’ll have to simplify it and make it funnier if you want a wider audience.”
Dandd: “funnier?”
Crysania: “Yeah. Try some Reference Humor”
Just then a Henchman came running up the stairs
Henchman 1: Crysania! We found the Nazgul Sword in Kamadan for 35 Ecto.
Crysania: I sense a ‘but’
Henchman 1: Yes. We didn’t buy it, it’s a Cruel Sword – Not Zealous, I’m afraid.
Crysania: That’s too bad. Good Job. Go to the Green Dragon, and the Inn of the Last Home and let everyone know to stop the hunt.
Henchman 1: Right away! /poof
Crysania: I’m sorry about that. Reference Humor, you know – adapt obvious references into the universe you’re writing in.
Dandd: I’m not good at that, but I’ll try.
Crysania: Henchman Please, You’ve been around since Betamax, and probably Maxed the Beta!
Dandd: I’m not sure exactly what you just said, but I’ll go try anyway. /bamf
–
Dandd sips from his grail.
Dandd muttered: “Reference humor…”
“Sayest not ekki-ekki-ekki-pitang-zoom-boing when ‘Ni!’ will suffice.” Secnded Began. “..and when you are told ‘I don’t wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper!’ Respondeth kindly and always look on the bright side of life.” Secnded continued. “What we cant’s not the least is does the bad job but always the good, wink wink nudge nudge know what I mean?” Secnded stated. “If there is violence inherent in the system, remember that ‘tis but a scratch. There may not always be a punch-line scheduled nor will all errors get you sacked.” Secnded spoke calmly. “In the end, expect inquisitions, appreciate shrubberies, welcome the completely different and know that from time to time it will be your head nailed to the coffee table. Go Team VHoolequin” Secnded concluded.”
Dandd looked at this with ambivalence: “I prefer MY version.” –
Dandd gathered all the other instructors again, and shared the ‘referenced’ version.
There were hysterics.
The crowd were glad for Chuck choosing to wear shorts underneath the Paragon Armor.
Gallagher couldn’t stop crying and repeatedly proclaimed “I can’t breathe!”
Tanto and Legion were acting out bits of the referenced scenes.
Trixie’s laughter echoed well out of Dandd’s chambers.
Bip cast himself to death in glee.
–
The Instructors left completely jubilant and could be heard expanding the references as far as earshot carried.
–
Crysania came down, sensing Dandd’s Defeat
Crysania: Reference Humor?
Dandd: I don’t even know what I wrote! I just threw some lines, removing context, together and added some punctuation.
Crysania: I heard the laughter up top.
Dandd: I’m not funny. I don’t have a sense of humor.
Just then a Corsair-looking dude smoking his pipe walked in.
Corsair Henchman: Aye, but comedy ain’t never been about a sense of humor.
Crysania: I’m just going to leave you two alone now.
Crysania walks away giggling. She’ll have to Thank Margrid Later.
[/four_fifth]
[one_fifth_last]
Episode #26
25 Sep 2010
Notes: First appearance of /bamf! This would replace /poof quickly. Crysania and Dandd are well on their way to making the Beta and Spirits and Ceremonies Orders with episodes like these.
References: Philosophy, 4th Wall, Monty Python, Metalocalypse, Lord of the Rings, Dragonlance, The Venture Brothers.
[/one_fifth_last]