[three_fourth]
A chunk of the guild all goes to visit Crysania, who has scarcely come out of her tower in days.
—
Dandd: You’ve been awfully busy with the Progeny Project, you know.
Crysania nods, not even looking up from her parchment.
Dandd: You’re so focused on the future. Ever stop to reflect upon the past?
Crysania nods: All the time.
Simon: Meep meep meep meep!
Spike: ssshhh. Don’t let Balreth hear you say that Crysania was in a Nanny State.
[Hoolequin Dream Sequence!]
Grace: If you have to tell jokes then tell them to the wall.
Spike: Ok, hey wall! Why did the man put a sweater on his hot dog? Because it was a chili dog! Wokka wokka wokka.
The tower echoed with groans and winces, while Spike’s grin couldn’t grow any larger.
Spike: What’s the difference between an orange?
Crysania stops writing: Go ahead, Spike, finish the joke.
Spike: It *is* finished. *That’s* the joke.
Simon gets up and walks away.
Dandd: What happened, Spike?
Spike: Simon went into the closet to think about my joke. He’ll probably come out when he thinks its funny.
Dandd sighs: Boy, we’ll never see him again.
Spike: Yeah…what?!
The groans turned to laughter.
Spike: What do you call a kangaroo in Scotland?
Nyx: Dinner.
Spike: No that’s not right. You call a kangaroo in Scotland long distance. Get it? Wokka wokka wokka.
At this point, Spike got up to get Simon. When he was cleared of Crysania’s furniture, he got pelted with tomatoes.
Spike: Gosh, I wonder what you call a comedian that’s not funny.
Nyx: Spike.
Spike sighs: I wish I was funny.
Grace: I know what Balreth’s wish is. It’s that we get married.
Balreth: I don’t wanna waste a wish.
Grace: WHAT?
Balreth: Uh, on something that’s gonna happen anyway.
Spike: Hey! This fantasy is rated PG-13. We’re under age.
Simon: Can I come out now?
Spike: Well, let’s synchronize our watches.
Simon: We don’t have any watches.
Spike: That’s ok, I don’t know what synchronize means anyway.
Spike moves to open the closet, but finds it locked. Spike fumbles around with some lockpicks to try to bust out Simon.
Spike: Don’t worry, Simon, I’m a professional – oops.
Grace: You’re a professional oops all right.
The closet shifts due to Spike’s efforts, and a loud THUD – OUCH can be heard from within.
Simon: AAH! I got attacked by the English language!
Kermit: It was self-defense.
Simon: It says “20,000 Leagues Under the Jade Sea”
Spike, fumbling with the lock: Gee, a story about an under water bowling team?
Grace sighs: Watch your jokes.
Kermit: You can’t see jokes, dear.
Spike gestures to himself: You can after you get hit with tomatoes.
Simon: That hurt. My brain isn’t working right.
Dandd: Your brain’s never worked right, Simon.
Simon: Oh yeah, I forgot.
Kermit: Hey! Did you guys see what I heard?
Crysania: Hey! Everyone take five.
Spike sighs: Five, why can’t we all go?
Nyx: Go bye bye?
Simon: If I took five hot-dogs, then Dandd took three. What would you have?
Spike giggles: He’d have a tummy ache. Get it? Wokka wokka wokka.
Balreth’s tummy growls: I like hot dogs.
Grace: Yipee Skipee.
Spike: What food do you eat with your mouth open? Give up? *see* food. Get it? Wokka, wokka, wokka.
Grace: You’re weird.
Simon stomps his feet: Weird is my middle name!
Grace: You’re a nerd.
Simon’s voice softens: She called me a nerd. Next, I’ll be the nerd of her dreams.
Grace growls: Buzz off, Simon. Can’t you see I’m dancing with the frog of my dreams?
Balreth raises an eyebrow: Did you just call me a frog?
Grace: unless YOU want to get shoved down a wierdo hole too, YOU’D BETTER KEEP QUIET!
Balreth shrinks: Sheesh!
Spike: Don’t worry, Mr. Balreth-Thee-Frog. I’m Buhaha the Cookie.
Balreth: That’s Chewbacca The Wookie.
Spike, finally, gets the lock open: That’s what I said Muhaka the Bookie.
Balreth: Oh gee!
Simon falls out of the closet and lands on Spike. They’re both covered in tomato-stuff.
Dandd: They kind of look like brothers.
Grace: You can say that again.
Dandd: Ok, they kind of look like brothers.
Grace growls: Don’t push it, Dandd.
Simon and Spike raise their arms and pretend to be minions, moving towards Grace. Balreth leaps in front of her defiantly! Simon and Spike sigh and sit on the floor.
Grace: Oh Balreth. You saved me and my millions. How can I ever repay you?
Balreth: Um, well about two bucks for gas oughta cover it.
Grace: WHAT?
Balreth: On second thought, let’s just call it even, keep the money.
Spike: I’m hungry.
Grace: We don’t serve comedians here.
Spike: Good, ‘cause I don’t wanna eat one.
Simon: At least we would have a Lullaby.
Balreth: I think you mean Alibi
Simon nods: That’s what I said, Lullaby.
Grace turns, and hands an imaginary tray to Balreth: Here’s your order, Balreth…
Balreth: Gee, thanks Grace but I didn’t order anything.
Dandd: I just picked up the scent. Smells good.
Simon: I didn’t know anyone dropped it.
Spike: What do you call a yo-yo that goes down but won’t come up? A yo. Wokka wokka wokka.
The guild groans again.
Crysania finished her letter to Hoolequindustries.
Crysania hands it to Henchman 1: Deliver this to Magnifico, tell him to get extra Golem Power Sources.
Nyx: Hey, my Golem won’t work without power!
Dandd: Yeah, neither will my Asuran Mini-Pet.
Grace: We can’t even make pizza.
Balreth: No Pizza? Gee, without electricity we can’t do anything.
Crysania: Of course you can, your imaginations work without electricity.
Spike: REALLY?! I imagine an Assemble! call! I’m the Ranger!
Crysania: When I was a little girl, I used to listen to radio dramas and imagine that I was in the stories. I was the monk.
Dandd: You mean you’re not a little girl?
Crysania smiles.
Balreth: You can be our monk!
Crysania helps Simon up: Really? Thanks! No let’s go find Lalandra and tell her all about our adventure.
Spike: Quin or Quit!
Everyone runs out of the tower, moving to White Base.
Henchman 1: Even in the pre-searing days, you guys were pretty much the same.
Crysania: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, right?
Henchman 1 nods and leaves to deliver the letter.
[/three_fourth]
[one_fourth_last]
Notes: The cast: Nanny – Crysania | Fozzie – Spike | Gonzo/Beaker – Simon | Rowlf – Dandd | Kermit – Balreth | Piggy – Grace | Animal – Nyx
References: Muppet Babies
[/one_fourth_last]