[three_fourth]
The guild’s spirits were not their best. The plateau on which MASH was built was the line of nightfall, which had crept in shortly after the collapse of Crysania’s Tall Tower of High Sorcery. The ground of the MASH camp and everything below was perpetually dark. Visibility was poor from up above and almost none below the nightfall line. It was hard to see some stuff under the bunk. Angel accepted an invitation to Georgia’s Tent. It became known as such, because she was the loudest deciding factor as to who got admitted. Even Spike couldn’t sneak up at will, 100% of the time 🙂 . On her way, she stopped off at the Swamp to cancel her planned “Ranik Run” with Balreth. The Ranik Run was a jog from the MASH camp to the top of the nearby Mountain Peak and back down. They almost never miss a day. Angel, approaching the Swamp: Knock knock, anyone home?
Spike, mustering a horrible foreign accent: Jus’ us QuinFellas, know what I’m sayin’?
The swamp winced, groaned, and laughed.
Angel: Well just tell ‘Dances with Snoops’ no Green Mile jog today, Ranik can wait until tomorrow. Rain looks at Balreth: You sure get a lot of nicknames…
Spike jumps in: Who, Hawkeye?
Dandd spit out his drink, laughing.
Balreth groans, and Angel laughed – revealing she was still there listening.
Spike: Hey, you’re not much better Hot Lips.
Angel explodes: HOT LIPS?!
Spike leans over to Rain, but speaks loudly intentionally: You feel that heat right there?
Rain, smiling, nods.
Spike: Well that was just Pre-Searing.
The Swamp burst into laughter again.
Angel sharply leaves for Georgia’s Tent.
The Swamp takes a drink break. Balreth looks at Rain: Well what about you, do you have any nicknames?
Rain nods: Veritas is my nickname.
The Swamp got quiet, intent on hearing the story.
Rain: Well my given name is Vajra.
Spike and Balreth look puzzled, while Dandd’s wheels turned.
Dandd: …Firmness of Spirit and Spiritual Power…yes?
Rain’s jaw hit the floor: For knowing obscure references, you guys certainly are The Usual Suspects.
Spike hands Dandd a celebratory drink: Awwww…he’s still in the Age of Innocence.
Dandd coughs at the still, and Rain pouts.
Balreth gets back on subject: So how do we go from…whatever language that is to something resembling what I’m familiar with?
Rain: Crysania.
The mention of her name brings MASH to a quiet.
Rain: Every once in a while, when I did something good, she would tell me that I’m “As Right As Rain.”
Everyone nodded, in understanding. Dandd chugged the contents of his grail.
Dandd was making a map, which was hard given the lack of visibility.
Dandd refilled his grail, and drank more.
Spike: Wow old man, you’re sure putting them away tonight!
Balreth had noticed that too: Yeah, you alright?
Dandd shook his head: This is Mountain Dew.
Balreth spit out the drink that Spike handed him in surprise.
Spike: Mountain Dew?
Balreth wiped himself off and tried the drink again.
Dandd: Yep. Game Fuel for old people.
Balreth spit his drink again, and this time put it down for safety’s sake.
Spike almost fell into the still, laughing.
Dandd: What? This is water from the nearby mountain stream. I try to collect it in the mornings.
Balreth did the math, and nodded. Henchman 1 approaches the Swamp: Rain, we are assembled.
Rain springs up from his cot and starts heading out.
Spike: Good Will Hunting
Rain: what?
Spike: Good Luck Hunting?
Rain: Oh, ok. Thanks.
Rain heads out.
Balreth: …wait, isn’t “Guns and Roses” out on patrol today?
Spike nods.
Dandd chimes in: He’s training a unit he calls ‘The Hellequins.’
Balreth: Another faction?
Dandd: no no. He really is trying to find Princess Mononoke.
Spike: Who?
Dandd: …The Big Lebowski.
Spike: Who?
Balreth: CRYSANIA!
Spike sighs: Your Honor, The People vs Spike Flint…
Dandd: Meh, just Secrets and Lies. Hand me another drink. Balreth looks at Dandd’s ‘map:’ Dood, it’s just a bunch of lines and dots.
Dandd nods: For those of you not Dazed and Confused – he glares at Spike – this is a measurement angles and distance from the MASH camps to checkpoints.
Balreth: What’s at the checkpoints?
Dandd: Those flags that they told Spike About.
Spike: RUN FORREST RUN!
Balreth and Dandd sigh.
Dandd: Spike told us they were ‘found.’
Balreth nods.
Dandd: That’s not true. Hoolequindustries started planting some when Nightfall came. Rain and the Hellequins have been pressing farther and farther to plant more. So we can track some geography. Balreth started to panic.
Balreth: That guy is just an ambitious private. He’s a Dead Man Walking.
Spike, fighting to remain conscious: So why don’t Braveheart and Dearheart go run down in Jurassic Park and… [Spike fades out again]
Balreth spins to Dandd: Do you know where they are going?
Dandd and Balreth look over the Map.
Dandd analyzes: They have been spiraling from MASH, so probably out here.
Balreth nods.
Spike: So take a Few Good Men and go Saving Private Rain. At that point, Jora came back from patrol and came to check in.
Jora: Spike.
Spike launched from his cot and face planted the floor: Well beat me into a Pulp Fiction…can’t you use the tent flap like a normal Norn? Oh wait…Norn don’t need tent flaps – you are Norn.
Balreth and Dandd tried to suppress the laughter.
Jora sighed: I’m back, but it’s like the Nightmare Before Wintersday out there.
Balreth sighed.
Dandd: …and of course our Matrix-Master is missing too…
Balreth sighed again.
Spike looked at the tent, where he knew Jora still was: Grab Thelma, Louise and her Reservoir Dog . I’ll tell all the Clerks on duty to raise the Alert and then let’s make sure that Rain isn’t the Last of the Mohiquins.
Balreth and Dandd stood there, stunned.
Spike: What? It’s the Scent of a woman.
Dandd: “A” woman?
Spike: ok, ok… THAT woman.
So the Officers moved out, to make sure Rain is ok – and maybe find Crysania too.
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[one_fourth_last]
Episode 36
5 Dec 2010
Notes: I hope you like movie references, Ranik Runs, and Mountain Dew
References: Saving Private Ryan, MASH, Goodfellas, Dances With Wolves, The Green Mile, The Usual Suspects, Age of Innocence, Good Will Hunting, Princess Mononoke, The Big Lebowski, The People vs Larry Flint, Secrets and Lies, Dazed and Confused, Forrest Gump, Dead Man Walking, Braveheart, Jurassic Park, a Few Good Men, Pulp Fiction, The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Matrix, Thelma and Louise, Reservoir Dogs, Clerks, The Last of the Mohicans, Scent of a Woman
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