[three_fourth]
The guild was buzzing yet again. Crysania’s conversion of the factions to proper orders with commanders was just what everyone needed to pick up the pace a bit, except one…The Nameless.
[at a large desk in the common area]
Henchman 1, vigorously: …and welcome back to HHNN, the Hero/Henchman News Network – your prime source of information for all things Quin.
Henchman 2: That’s right #1, at HHNN we promise to give the best damn play-by-play commentary of all the happenings around Quinland and Tyria abroad. But first, let’s go to #3 for sports.
Henchman 3: uugggh. Do we have to be HHNN? That sounds like the sound #4 makes after some of Jeni’s Eyjafjallajokull Chili.
Henchman 2: …seriously, don’t go to the bathroom after #4. Woof.
Henchman 3: he’ll make Simon’s head explode. For reals, yo.
Henchman 1: Well, if you’re going to Jeni’s for the cooking – you’re batting for the wrong team. That’s all I gotta say ‘bout that.
Henchman 4: Thank you.
Henchman 1: Turning to the Silkball League, the new season opener pitted The Duke’s Arrowheads vs The Baroness’ All Quin.
Henchman 4: Whadda game! The Arrowheads have a real silkball talent with Galard.
Henchman 3: -and that hit he took in the 2nd half!
Henchman 2: Tell me about it. I’m surprised he kept his head.
Henchman 1: I’m sure that dazed him.
Henchman 4: Yeah, but he’s a warrior – dazed doesn’t matter.
Henchman 3: High-five!
Henchman 2: Despite Galard’s individual performance, The All Quin won comfortably 7-4.
Henchman 4: The All Quin are used to being workhorses, and just outmuscled the Arrowheads.
Henchman 1: Yep.
Henchman 3: You got it.
Henchman 2: In other sports news, we go to the Heavyweight @#$%Talk Boxing Division.
Henchman 1: Saladin Ali had, what has to be, the quickest match ever.
Henchman 3: People will be talking about this for years.
Henchman 4: We have the quote for you all now. “I’m bad; I’m the baddest of all time! Go ahead and step in this ring, I’ll show you that you’re as useful as a dazed monk with no energy. I’ll knock the scars off you!”
Henchman 1 winces: Ow, that hurts.
Henchman 2: No wonder the Friend Necro was knocked out before ever entering the ring.
Henchman 3: That’s some heavyweight #@$%Talk right there.
Henchman 1: Preach it, brother.
Henchman 4: Salah will continue to be a favorite in the heavyweight division.
Henchman 2: It was a good day for the Order of the Party.
Henchman 1: In the first, and last, game of the Shadowstep Basketball league, Smells like Teen Spirits and Ceremonies drew 0-0 against Alpha, Beta, and VHS when the assassins present realized they can’t shadowstep with the ball.
Henchman 3: -and lastly, we go to a friendly field hockey game between the short peoples of Spirits and Friends.
Henchman 4: They weren’t *short* on temper.
Henchman 2: Oh no, the mostly ladies’ game descended into an all out brawl after a Friend Pet interfered in the game.
Henchman 1: Did you see Stabbith’s retaliation?
Henchman 3: Oh yeah! Field hockey stick to the face and HOLD.
Henchman 4: The match ended in a 4-4 draw at half-time due to injuries, unsportsmanlike conduct, and Crysania’s Ray of Judgment upon the melee – sending sections of both teams to the clinic.
Henchman 1: Stabbith had this to say:
Henchman 6: Stabbith, you smashed a Friend Member in the face with your stick. What do you have to say for yourself?
Stabbith: We should have won 5-4. Clearly, I scored a goal with her teeth.
Henchman 6: That was beyond foul-
Stabbith: I agree. The goal should stand. Past the Line is Past the line. Ball, tooth, it’s over the line. It counts.
Henchman 6: And what about the game-ending ray of judgment?
Stabbith: The Empress ended the argument, quickly. It’s sad it had to come to that, but next time maybe they’ll let the goal stand. 5-4, we win.
Henchman 1: Cold as Water Magic.
Henchman 2: Yeouch.
Henchman 4: Well that wraps up this edition of HHNN Sports. Tune in soon for a HHNN Exclusive: Synchronized Featherfall Teams.
Henchman 3: That is so La Chad.
Henchman 4: At least I don’t go to Jeni’s for her chili.
Henchman 3: What? It’s good chili.
Henchman 1: Sure, Dood. And Olias is a Legendary Survivor.
Henchman 2: High-Five!
[/three_fourth]
[one_fourth_last]
Episode 58
17 Sep 2011
Notes: Full references to be added soon.
References: Guild History
[/one_fourth_last]